Throughout our lives we must all make choices which bear certain responsibilities and consequences, whether positive or negative. We go through decision making more than once on a daily basis, like deciding what to eat, what to wear, where to go and how to get there, who to see and what to say. We definitely must make choices like going to school or not; do I accept who I am or try to change? Do I accept others for who they are or try to change them and how? With each choice we make we must bear consequences which may impact us and others either in a positive or negative way. The fact remains that we must take responsibility for the choices we make and the actions such choices bare, by accepting any end result.
Choosing work over school was not a smart choice, because it has led me to having to make the same choice again. About ten years ago, after I graduated High School, I decided to work full time over going to school and further my education. It was my choice to make at the time, and I believed it would only affect me. I had no responsibility, and without a good education it was a rather a hard way take on life. With just life experiences, in my adventure into the real world, I managed to learn some responsibilities. I knew that going to school was not going to be an easy ride. Having to deal with school, financially, and with school work in overall was a big responsibility I did not want to confront. Today, after ten years, I see how much of an impact that choice has had in my life. The consequences are now affecting not only me but my family, in a negative way. Because of lack of a good education finding a good paying job is impossible. Giving my family all that they need has become a big challenge. These consequences, I’m facing because of that bad choice I made many years ago. By choosing to work over school, I managed to accomplish making money and have a lot of good things and plenty of good times, at such a young age, I never thought it would have such a negative impact in my life. A few months ago I was forced, by circumstances and planning of my future, to make that choice all over again. This time with a more focused view of the consequences and responsibilities it will have in my life and future, ahead. Now aware of the responsibility of a good choice, I can accept who I am and where I am going.
Choosing to accept who we are and where we come from is a tremendous challenge. Many people, especially those that are unfortunate and poor are greatly affected by this choice of accepting who they are. Living in an environment where almost everyone is of the same class is impossible. There will always be someone who has what we want and can’t have. Sometimes we make sacrifices to have something we know we cannot have, even for a moment. Such choices have great consequences in both our image and life. Guy De Maupassant writes “She had no decent dresses, no jewels, nothing. And she loved nothing but these; she believed herself born only for these. She burned with the desire to please, to be envied, to be attractive and sought after.” (5). In this short story, Mathilde would be the perfect example for a person choosing not to accept herself for who she is. She is a house wife, married to a working class man, who can only afford the necessities to live somewhat like a decent poor couple. Mathilde, never being able to accept who she is, chooses to portray an image she cannot afford ever in her life, and all just to get the attention she could never have as an ordinary woman. She goes as far as making her husband sacrifice his savings for a dress she might only wear once, and taken even further, she borrows a piece of jewelry she believes to be a very expensive diamond necklace, which happens to be her fall to an even deeper level of poverty. She eventually looses the necklace and had to replace it. Guy De Maupassant writes “I returned another exactly like it. And for ten years we’ve been paying for it. You understand this wasn’t easy for us, who had nothing….Finally it’s over, and I’m damned glad.” (10). So posing as someone she was not and choosing to borrow such an expensive piece of jewelry, and then loosing it, cost her and her husband ten years of hard times trying to pay it back.
As hard as it is to accept our self for who we are, it is to accept others for who they are. We sometimes try to change the other person, not realizing that it is only a battle against nature itself. As much as we try, we fail, because we can only change our self and with great difficulty. It is much easier to choose to accept someone if we learn about their culture and traditions, which is the big barrier and difference between one another. All of us have a natural personality that no one including our self can change. We also acquire certain traits from our culture and traditions, which is passed on from prior generations. As children growing up, our parents play a major role in the personality we acquire. This is not a choice. It is their responsibility. They try to avoid from us making the mistakes they made and go through the same misfortune they’ve been through, if any. When we choose to have children we also choose the responsibility to bring them up better than our self. Amy Tan writes “You want me to be someone that I’m not!” I sobbed.” I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be!” (186). In this short story “Two Kinds”, we see a perfect example of a mother trying to change her daughter to someone she is not. The mother has taken the responsibility to make sure her daughter those not suffer the same fate she suffered back in her home country. The daughter cannot understand what her mother is trying to do. The mother unable to properly communicate with her daughter is having a hard time by choosing random activities her daughter is not comfortable with. (Tan 186) “Only two kinds of daughters,” she shouted in Chinese, “Those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind! Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedient daughter!” In the desperate attempt to choose what she thinks her daughter wants and in the eyes of failure, she tries to establish strictness in the house as her last resort.
With every choice come consequences, such as having to make the choice again or causing devastating damages whether physical or psychological. We must also take responsibilities, by accepting what choices we make and what result they bring to us. We all make choices whether or not we foresee the consequences and responsibilities of making them. Communication with one another and especially our selves is uniquely important to learn to choose properly and accept responsibilities. We must acknowledge the responsibility and consequences before making our choices in life. We must bear in mind that the choices we make will choose the path in life we go through.
Guy De Maupassant. “The Necklace.”
Course Text Book. Page 4
Tan, Amy. “Two Kinds”
Course Text Book. Page 180