The Lose of a Child – The Unthinkable

It is the unthinkable, every parent prays that it never happens to them; But the truth is that it can happen to anyone in a blink of an eye. The lose of a child, which could be a lot of different things, as in death, lost, or kidnapped. In any of these instances your heart breaks for the parent whether it is you, someone you know, or even a stranger. When something happens or goes wrong with a child you the parent are not the only ones affected. The other children in the house hold, other siblings, classmates, friends of the child, grandparents, other family members, and the community. In my thesis I will go over how each of these possibilities and how it affects everyone involved and what you can do to help yourself.

When a child is lost at the store, in the woods, or even at a theme park. Being the parent, panic is the first thing that sets in your heart races, your hands sweat and you try to keep the worst possible thoughts out of your head. You run around calling for your lost child hoping and praying for the best. As a on looker, a stranger, you ask if you can help search for this child, Secretly thankful that it is not your own, while griping your own child’s hand not letting them go. You look every where bathrooms, stores, cafes, and even security desk, hopefully with luck you will find your child quickly. When a child is lost, the child is scared and does not know what to do. It is very stressful on a child all they can see are people they do not know. After all we teach our kids not to talk to strangers at a young age. So what are they to do? Hopefully a good Samaritan will take the your lost child to the security desk or help them find you. A lot of times that is not the way things go, most people now a days will stand their looking at the child screaming for mommy or daddy It is sad. Most people need to put their selves in your shoes, if that was my child what would I want someone to do. What to do if something like this happens and you lose your child in a crowded place. First, you should stay calm, get a resent picture of your child out and go to the security desk and ask for help. Second, calmly walk the grounds and look for your child. Third, ask and show people that walk by you if they have seen you child. The important thing is to find your child quickly.

One of the two worst things that can happen to a child is being kidnapped. Over the years here in Texas there have been several children who have been kidnapped by strangers, or family members. It doesn’t really make a difference if you know the person who took your child your or not knowing what kind of person took your child just makes the stress of the situation worse. I remember one little girl a year or so ago that was kidnapped. This little girl was five years old, and her mom and dad believed that her uncle had taken her. They called the police and had a nation wide man hunt and amber alert for this little girl and her supposed kidnapper. After months of the searching the cops finally found his vehicle, inside they found the man suspected of kidnapping this little girl dead. This man killed himself, why, who knows but there was no sign at all of the missing girl. Nothing in this mans car or in the area around where they found his body. What happened to this little girl? Where is she they never found her? Now if this was your child how would you feel right now? You would be consumed by fear, grief, and what if’s. A parent who has lost a child to not knowing as I call it. Have a harder time dealing with it. They have many emotions such as anger, sorrow, fear, and confusion. The sad thing about today’s society is a lot of men, women and yes even some young adults are pedophiles. So they first thing that comes to your mind in this instance is Oh My God what if !!!

You cry and pray that the awful thoughts going through your head are not what’s happing to your baby. Something like this just doesn’t affect the parents they other children in the household become fearful. They start to worry and look over their shoulders hoping they are not next. They cry and miss their brother or sister, wonting them to come back. The grandparents and other family members are affect as well, they try to protect the other kids and help the parents the best they can. The other family members are a wreck as well worrying and fearing the unknown. The community is deeply affected, The fact of knowing that someone in your community could possibly take or hurt a child is down right scary. Parents in the community as well as teachers and the children themselves become very aware of their surroundings and the people in it. What do you do if this happens to you? You call 911 and get help at the soonest possible second because in kidnapping cases the first 24 hours a critical in finding the missing child.

To me the worst possible thing that could happen to my child is death. When you lose a child your world comes crashing down around you. There is this sinking filling in you, this huge hole in your heart, soul and life. When something this awful happens it doesn’t just affect the parent or parents it dramatically affects the other children, grandparents, aunts uncles and the whole community. People say that if a child is sick for a long time with a painful debilitating disease that it wont be as bad on the family they are wrong. Yes that child is not suffering anymore but the parents have still lost a part of them and their life it is still very devastating, but when a healthy child dies suddenly I can see how people might find that harder. For instance, Montana Lane Fisher, 15 months old, He was so full of life. He passed away January 31, 2009, reasons still unknown, His death was ruled natural causes He passed away one night in his sleep. For the parent even though there is another child still there and living, life seemed to end that day not just for him but for her to. She lost a piece of herself that she will never get back. I think that every parent God help them in this situation feels that way, not meaning to hurt the other children that they may have but it is a difficult situation to be in. Most parents that lose a child together will end up divorced a lot of times because they blame them selves and each other, or just have a hard time holding on to that love. I have watched Momo’s mom and sister over the last year and tried my best to help. There is so much pain and not understanding especially in his sister, she is 7 now, she does not understand all she knows is that God called Momo home to heaven because he needed a special angel at his side. She still cries out for Momo at night and most days. Her mom cant help her because she cant even help herself right now. Something this devastating really affects the whole family. I have watch Montana’s Papa and grandma too for the last year, and seeing a man cry for his grandson that has not cried but maybe 5 times his whole life. Watching the pain in his eyes while he watches his daughter die inside more and more each day, the grandma has become mean and vindictive towards Momo’s mom because she blames her for his death. My boys for instance there isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t say momma when is Montana coming back? It breaks my heart because I have to tell them they will see him again one day but only in heaven Its like they have relive his death all over again. What can you do to get through something this awful? Talk to someone, get out your anger through words to a good friend or a dr. and not by hurting someone. Go to God for guidance he will never lead you wrong. Talk to your spouse and children and talk about his or her life, the cute and funny things that he or she did. Just remember that your family and God love you so hold you head up high and live your life in their memory, because giving up is not what they would want you to do.

Almost 900,000 children a year go missing, that’s over 2,200 a day. It ranges from runaways to kidnappings. All the research that have done tells me as parents we need to teach our children about the bad in the world, teach them what to do if they are in this situation, teach them to protect themselves. As far as the child death rate it is high everywhere in the us and in other countries. a lot of child die from abuse or neglect but even more from illness and disease.

In conclusion, just because we pray it wont happen doesn’t mean that it wont. The unthinkable, It happens everyday to millions of families and children all across the USA and the world. We have to teach our children to protect themselves and be more cautious and as to there heath just because it looks like a cold doesn’t mean that it is. A dr. visit is expensive but a funeral cost you a lot more, and I don’t mean just money wise, it can cost you your family, life, career and most important your child. The reason I chose this topic is mainly to educate so that you and your family don’t have to go through what millions of families are going through right now as you are reading this. The unthinkable can happen to you, your child could get lost, kidnapped, and God forbid the worst die. Any of these things can drive a person crazy and cause all kinds of different emotions and effect everyone. So take care of your family and remember to educate yourselves and your children.