Professor’s Critique
Emily, your formal letter exchange demonstrates a solid understanding of the key elements of formal correspondence. The letters exhibit appropriate formatting, including proper salutations and closings. The language used is suitably formal and professional throughout, avoiding colloquialisms and maintaining a respectful tone. Emily has successfully captured the essence of seeking and providing advice in a formal context. The content progression in both letters is logical and well-structured. In Mary’s letter, the background information is concise yet informative, leading naturally to the request for advice. Mrs. Nancy’s response is particularly well-crafted, offering thoughtful, structured advice that addresses the inquirer’s concerns comprehensively. The use of numbered points in the response letter is an effective organizational tool. However, there’s room for improvement in varying sentence structure to enhance readability. Additionally, while the advice given is sound, Emily could have included more specific examples or scenarios to further illustrate the points made. Overall, this is a commendable effort that showcases Emily’s grasp of formal written communication principles.
Grade: A- (92/100)
A Formal Letter Exchange
by
Emily Howard
Bridgewater College
Dear Mrs. Nancy,
I am writing to seek your advice on a personal matter. I am a freshman at university, and I have recently developed romantic feelings for a sophomore in my department. This situation has left me feeling confused and uncertain, as I have no prior experience with such matters.
During my secondary education, I was intensely focused on academic achievement. My mother consistently emphasized the importance of gaining admission to a prestigious university, which led me to dedicate the majority of my time to studying. Consequently, I had limited opportunities for social interaction, particularly with members of the opposite sex.
Now that I find myself experiencing these new emotions, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. I would greatly appreciate any guidance you could offer on navigating this unfamiliar terrain.
Yours sincerely,
Mary Thompson
Dear Mary,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your situation. It’s quite common for young adults to experience such feelings for the first time during their university years, and it’s commendable that you’re seeking advice on how to handle this new experience.
Firstly, it’s important to recognize that while romantic feelings can be exciting, they should not overshadow your academic pursuits or personal growth. University life offers a wealth of opportunities for social and emotional development, and it’s beneficial to approach these experiences with a balanced perspective.
Regarding your specific situation, I would advise a gradual approach. Since you and this young man are in the same department, there are likely many natural opportunities for interaction. You might consider:
1. Engaging in class discussions or group projects where you can interact in a academic context.
2. Joining departmental clubs or study groups where you might encounter him in a more relaxed setting.
3. If appropriate, seeking his advice on academic matters, which can serve as a foundation for further conversation.
As your interactions increase, you’ll have the opportunity to get to know him better and assess whether your feelings deepen or change. Remember, it’s entirely normal if these feelings evolve or if they’re not reciprocated. The key is to approach the situation with openness to the experience and the personal growth it can bring, regardless of the outcome.
Lastly, I encourage you to also focus on developing a wider social circle. University life offers numerous opportunities to form meaningful friendships and engage in diverse experiences, all of which contribute to your personal development.
I hope this advice proves helpful. Remember, every experience, whether it leads to a romantic relationship or not, is an opportunity for learning and growth.
Yours sincerely,
Nancy Edwards
References
Alred, G. J., Brusaw, C. T., & Oliu, W. E. (2019). The business writer’s handbook (12th ed.). Bedford/St. Martin’s.
Bovée, C. L., & Thill, J. V. (2021). Business communication today (15th ed.). Pearson.
Guffey, M. E., & Loewy, D. (2022). Essentials of business communication (12th ed.). Cengage Learning.