My early experiences with love where very minimal from my parents. My grandmother on the other hand was always very affectionate with me. My parents were divorced long before I can even remember. My mother was married several times and she always openly displayed affection towards her new husband for at least a little while. My parents never really displayed a lot of affection towards me or my little brother. My mother was around most of the time. She made it to almost every wrestling match, football game, and baseball game. My father on the other hand was never there. I have just recently started speaking to my mother again after eight years of silence. My father and I are business acquaintances more than any thing else. I think I have told him I loved him a total of two maybe three times. Once upon a time I was a very cold individual and I eventually learned to be warm and affectionate but I really don’t like it. Being warm and affectionate causes to much heartache and pain, so I have decided to return to the old me. It is just so much easier. The funny thing is that I want my spouse or mate to be a very affectionate person. It makes me feel good when they are. I also want my spouse to be understanding to the fact that I have to work very hard to be affectionate. As far as kids go I have never wanted them, but the older I get I think I might want them. I believe if I ever have kids I want them to be reared to the fact that they should so affection but to realize that they could get hurt and that is just a part of life.