What exactly is an ideal relationship? This is a question that for many people, may be very difficult to answer. According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, first marriages
end in divorce 50 percent of the time. Second and third marriages only increase in percentage telling us that their second and third companion is even less compatible. According to the same website (www.divorcerate.org), the percentage numbers do change somewhat, but the trend stays the same with the first marriage having the lowest percentage at 41 percent. So I ask again, what exactly is an ideal relationship? An ideal relationship to me consists of three main components. You must share a similar personality as your companion, be looking to get the same things out of the relationship, and the most important thing I feel is that you both must have similar religious beliefs.
I know a lot of men date women because of their good looks, or they feel they would have an easy lay with a particular girl they know, according to Professor Brod. Although I agree that having a spouse that you feel is good looking, I do not feel this is one of the main qualities that are needed for a successful relationship. On the other hand, I feel a more needed quality is looking for the right personality. Based on personal experience, I have found that if you have a similar personality, the relationship you have will more likely last longer. I, personally, am not a big dater. I have only truly dated one girl in my life. The relationship lasted a little over two years, but there was definitely a personality conflict, which I believe ultimately led to the failure of the relationship. At first I felt that we shared close to the same personality, which led to us dating, but as I obviously found out later, there were some major differences.
The second component of my ideal relationship is that both partners in the relationship must be looking to get the same types of things out of the relationship. This will more than likely be something that is found out later in the relationship. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of getting the same thing out of a relationship is much later down the road when you are married, and that is kids. If you want kids and your companion does not, then there is no way that you could have a long term relationship, unless you aren’t passionate about having kids. Another decent example of this that I can think of would be what type of work you were wanting to do and if your partner would be willing to go with it. For example, if your job would mean you having to leave and go somewhere a further, then of course your companion would have to agree or you would have to find a new job which would cause problems.
The last and most important component of my ideal relationship is sharing similar religious beliefs. I do not feel that you have to be exactly the same religion in order to have a successful relationship. For example, there are many types of Christianity. I am not saying any type of religion is better than the other because I do not believe in that; I am just using this as an example. If you and your companion can share similar beliefs, then this is one less thing you have to worry about making the relationship run rough. I’m not saying it could not be done because I’m sure it has been done, that is being with someone with different beliefs, but for me I know I am looking for someone with at least similar beliefs so that we have one of the most important aspects of life in common. As mentioned earlier, I have only had one real relationship. We happened to both share the same religion which did make it very nice, and is one reason I believe the relationship lasted as long as it did.
Although I have not been in many relationships, I have had one that lasted long enough and opened my eyes to what I am really looking for in a relationship. This relationship was one that just kind of happened. Maybe I was not dating her for the right reasons and maybe the same was for her, but now that I have had this relationship, I know more of what I am looking for. I also take it as a learning experience. I obviously would like to have other relationships while I am in college, and this may lead to other components of a relationship that I am looking for that I do not know about right now. As of now, based on my one relationship, I know what I am looking for and hopefully this will lead to a more successful relationship sometime in my future.